How to Tell a Coworker They Smell: A Tactful Word-for-Word Script
Nobody wants to have this conversation — but nobody wants to suffer through it silently either. Done privately and kindly, this is one of the most compassionate things you can do for a colleague.
The SBI Framework: Step by Step
- 1
Request privacy: Pull them aside in a closed room or send a calm message requesting a private chat. Never hint at this in front of others.
- 2
Lead with care: Open by explicitly saying you're sharing this because you respect them, not to embarrass them.
- 3
Be specific but gentle: Name the issue directly enough to be understood ('a strong odor') without clinical detail or judgment.
- 4
Give them an exit: Keep it brief and let them leave to process. Don't linger or fill the silence.
Word-for-Word Sample Script
"Hey [Name], can we find 5 minutes somewhere private? There's something I want to share and I want to make sure it comes from a good place."
"I'm only bringing this up because I respect you and would want someone to tell me. I've noticed there's sometimes a strong odor — it may be something you're not aware of."
"I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I just thought a heads-up from a colleague would be better than finding out another way."
"That's all I wanted to say. I'll leave it with you."
Adapt these lines to your situation and voice — the structure matters more than the exact words.
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Prep My Conversation Free →Frequently Asked Questions
Should I tell HR instead of talking to them directly?
Going to HR first without talking to them first can feel like a report rather than a conversation. A direct, private approach is kinder and usually more effective. Escalate to HR only if you've tried the direct route or if there's a pattern.
What if it's a cultural or medical issue?
Don't speculate. Simply name what you observed and leave the cause to them. Your job isn't to diagnose — it's to give them the chance to address it privately.
What if they get upset or deny it?
Don't argue. Say: 'I understand. I just wanted you to know, and I'm not trying to make a big deal of it.' Then leave it. You've done what you could.